More Poems and such...

Some poems and such for y'all to enjoy

Enter the Darkness
Enter the Darkness,
Free your mind.
Let its dark, relentless grasp
Take hold, and pull you into the abyss.

Forget all you’re troubles,
Forget all your cares,
As the pain and suffering ignite,
Removing all else.

The depth of this darkness
Is known only to one.
He who has lived in it,
He who has made it his home.

This “man” suffers,
For the emptiness is killing him.
Who is this sad man you ask?
Me.





The Abyss
Waving my hands
Blindly in front,
I stumble forth.
Through the pain
Through the hurt
Through the endless madness
Finding not light,
Not truth,
Not joy or happiness,
But suffering, endless suffering.
Though you may not believe,
As many do not,
I love this Abyss.
The pain is unchanging,
The hurt doesn’t die,
And it isn’t shocking.
The pain of life
Is ever changing,
Ever hurting.
At least in the abyss,
I know the pain is coming.

FUCK THIS SHIT
Fuck your bullshit
Unleash me form the pain you
Cause me each and everyday.
Kill all the bullshit
You try and use
Out of the wickedness of your evil
Useless cruelty
Before all the pain
In me becomes
Too great and I
Cease to feel anything, no
Hurt no pain, no love.



Happiness Has Returned
The joy that once was gone
Has returned, in full.
Missing for so long,
I thought it would never return.
But then, though the thick black mist,
She broke through, allowing light,
Joy and happiness to return to my heart.

Alone in the darkness of the pit,
I had lost hope of ever finding freedom.
Freedom form the pain, the suffering,
The endless agony.
But then,
As began to leave
A birght light fell upon me
And an escape became clear.
You, you are my escape,
Freeing me from the shackles
Of the darkness around me,
And giving me new hope.


Untitled
If I hadn’t blown the whole thing years ago,
I might not be alone.
See the hurt I one caused you,
Has manifested deep in me,
And after all these years
I finally see what I did to you.
Though I wish I could take it back,
Its too far in the past,
And these things cant be changed.
Yet still I know
In my heart of hearts,
In the deepest recess of my soul,
That I still love you,
And I still believe you’re the one for me.
And I want you to know
That my heart is always yours,
Forever and always.
And I will continue to believe
If I hadnt blown the whole thing eyars ago,
I might be there with you

(granted I stole lyrics form gin blossoms, but the most of it is mine)

Out for now, got shizzit to do, hatsa

Sleep is truly the nctar of the gods...

Well at least when i cant drink. Ever have one of those days where ya just want to kill EVERYONE? I had one of thoseat the end fo my shift this morning. It never ceases to amaze me how I can have an hour left, and that hour can still ruin the whole day. I make meals for crews that fly out. They have a cerati time frame to order them, so I can make the meals for them, or replace what I use in our stock. This guy decides to change his order, 15 mins before the meals are due to go out. Now this isnt a problem...until he calls back and to change them AGAIN. Now this is right as the mals are going out the door...and right at the end of my shift. I swear these people have a psychic lik ot what meals I DONT have and thats exactly what they order. So now with 5 minutes tll the enxt ahift comes in Im running around ot try and remake what i just used...all because some officer cant make his damn mind up. *sigh* Alrighty anyway...I came home and passed the hell out. Now some 9 hours later..i feel awesome. Is rue as shit dont wnt to go to work but hey...what choice do I have? Not like I can call in sick...Well this is all for now, more once I at work and realize I dont have shit to do...like nay other day.

12 hour shifts, or why my time is being wasted...

Work sucks. Granted I stated earlier that I like my job, and I do. But working these 12 hour shifts is a waste of my time. I sit here with nothing to do for the first 4 hours, then work hard for maybe 3, then sit for another 3 hours, and bust my ass for the last 2. now sometimes I spread out the wokr evenly, but still I end up with so muc time its not even funny. Main reason I started this is out of complete boredom. i guess it really isnt a totalwaste, i do egt alot of writing done but still...Alright on to the new topic. I tried to make a quiz for all of you to take but id have to PERSONALLY email it to every oen fo you and thats a negative. So instead Ill post a "story" i wrote a few days ago. Sad and depressing, like everything else, but it flowed and came from nowwhere, just like everything else. Funny this is I was happy as hell when I worte it. Anyways ehre it is...

Standing alone amongst the flowers, I sob silently above the casket. Pictures cover the wall. Many different faces, all had a hand in this. One photo bigger than the rest had her and me in it. Such wonderful times, I think to myself. Why must they always be destroyed. Amy I really not allowed to be happy?
Frowning as I look around, I turn back to the coffin, close the lid, and prepare to carry it, being the only pallbearer at this most depressing occasion. Grunting as I lift the coffin onot my back, I think about what culd have been. The joy, the happiness, and most of all the love.
Sliding the coffin into the hearse, I grunt again, and wipe the sweat from my brow. As I get into the drivers seat, I wipe my tears away and cry. Cry for what’s lost, and for the empty spot in me.
Driving down the long road to the cemetery gave me time to remember. Remember what life was lke before the loss. Remember how happy I was. The smell of the spring grass flowing to my nose made things worse. Reminded me of days long past spent happily playing in the springtime sun. Laughing, loving… God it always seems to come back to the love. Knowing the sadness my future held, I parked, slide out and walked to the back. Opening the hearse, I wiped my head again, wiping my tears at the same time.
Wincing in pain again, I lifted the heavy coffin and out in on my back lugging it to the final resting place. Though it was heavy, I took my time, not wanting to part with what lay inside. Crying heavily now, I laid the coffin next to its final resting place. After saying a brief prayer, I put the coffin in the hole, and begin shoveling dirt on it. Saying my last goodbye to my happiness. Saying goodbye to any chance of love or joy. Saying goodbye to the only chance I had for happiness. Saying goodbye to my heart, as I bury it deep with me, where no one can reach it to crush it again.
With the job done, I walk off slowly, half regretting what I’ve done, but knowing its for the best. At least now I can be in peace, and free from the torments of love and life.

So post and tell me what you think. It will be added to the site soon enough..Out for now,

More Massive Boredom...Stories and poems

So yeah I did all the crap I had to do...Bored now. So I figured Id get back on here, add a poem or two and put links to some more. There are stories and poems here and also here. Please post your comments reviews complaints or outright rants and bitchings. Frankly Im bored and need something to do. As promised here is a few poems and such that aren't on the page...Yet. BTW the page your linked to is my homepage. To see the rest click House of Gloom. Again reviews and guestbook sigs are VERY welcome. On to the poems...
NIGHT
Night,
Dark and Cloudless
Flows over the land.
All light,
All hope,
All joy
Vanishes in this darkness.
Lost in this night I wander
All run from me
All hide from me
For they fear they too
Will get this darkness inside.
Children hide their eyes when I pass,
For the pain shows through
My upbeat facade.
The dark clouds
That were once destroyed
By your love
Have been brought back
By your betrayal,
This time more fearsome than ever
And now I fear
They shall swallow me
For I have not the strength to go on
And the darkness
It calls to me
And forever in it doesnt seem so bad anymore.

More poems later on tonight Im sure. For now, phone rings and as a perso who likes their job, I gotta answer it.
Peace 4 Now

New Blog Thingy. Life changes, and Other Random Crapolla

First post on this thing, and what a time. Im bored off my ass at work. Granted, there is work I could be doing but, and wokr i SHOULD be doing but they eky is, do I WANT to do it? Im sure you all know the answer to that.
So lets start with a few new things going on for me. First and foremost, Im moving back to california in Nov. About time I go back where the sun shines, I havent had a tan for years. Also Im working on making a movie. Script is comming along nicely. As to what its about...thats top secret for now. At least till i can egt it finished.
EDITED FOR EXPLISIT CONTENT BY AUTHOR A few more things...My gaming has begun to spiral backwards. A few months ago I started playing PS1 games again. Now Im down to N64, playing the hell out of Majoras Mask. I do still have a super NES, and a NES, so those will be next Im sure. The next thiing to abosorb my time is the new Stephen King book, Dark Tower 6, song of Susahnah(sp?). I cant wait for it.
Well thats all for now kiddies. More soon or maybe even tonight if I finish what I have to do. Hasta Luego mi Amigos y Amigas.