12 hour shifts, or why my time is being wasted...

Work sucks. Granted I stated earlier that I like my job, and I do. But working these 12 hour shifts is a waste of my time. I sit here with nothing to do for the first 4 hours, then work hard for maybe 3, then sit for another 3 hours, and bust my ass for the last 2. now sometimes I spread out the wokr evenly, but still I end up with so muc time its not even funny. Main reason I started this is out of complete boredom. i guess it really isnt a totalwaste, i do egt alot of writing done but still...Alright on to the new topic. I tried to make a quiz for all of you to take but id have to PERSONALLY email it to every oen fo you and thats a negative. So instead Ill post a "story" i wrote a few days ago. Sad and depressing, like everything else, but it flowed and came from nowwhere, just like everything else. Funny this is I was happy as hell when I worte it. Anyways ehre it is...

Standing alone amongst the flowers, I sob silently above the casket. Pictures cover the wall. Many different faces, all had a hand in this. One photo bigger than the rest had her and me in it. Such wonderful times, I think to myself. Why must they always be destroyed. Amy I really not allowed to be happy?
Frowning as I look around, I turn back to the coffin, close the lid, and prepare to carry it, being the only pallbearer at this most depressing occasion. Grunting as I lift the coffin onot my back, I think about what culd have been. The joy, the happiness, and most of all the love.
Sliding the coffin into the hearse, I grunt again, and wipe the sweat from my brow. As I get into the drivers seat, I wipe my tears away and cry. Cry for what’s lost, and for the empty spot in me.
Driving down the long road to the cemetery gave me time to remember. Remember what life was lke before the loss. Remember how happy I was. The smell of the spring grass flowing to my nose made things worse. Reminded me of days long past spent happily playing in the springtime sun. Laughing, loving… God it always seems to come back to the love. Knowing the sadness my future held, I parked, slide out and walked to the back. Opening the hearse, I wiped my head again, wiping my tears at the same time.
Wincing in pain again, I lifted the heavy coffin and out in on my back lugging it to the final resting place. Though it was heavy, I took my time, not wanting to part with what lay inside. Crying heavily now, I laid the coffin next to its final resting place. After saying a brief prayer, I put the coffin in the hole, and begin shoveling dirt on it. Saying my last goodbye to my happiness. Saying goodbye to any chance of love or joy. Saying goodbye to the only chance I had for happiness. Saying goodbye to my heart, as I bury it deep with me, where no one can reach it to crush it again.
With the job done, I walk off slowly, half regretting what I’ve done, but knowing its for the best. At least now I can be in peace, and free from the torments of love and life.

So post and tell me what you think. It will be added to the site soon enough..Out for now,