Friday, June 25, 2004

Dear Readers...

A haunting feeling has come over me. I feel indifferent ot everythig...everyone. Im damn tired which Im sure is a good aprt fo it. But I just dont care...I could walk outside and egt hit by a bus, and id just sigh and say eh what can you do...its like a total numbness has cme over me...its an odd tingly numbness(haha if that makes sense to ANYONE except for me please tell me). Once I get off of work I plan to work on the sotry and do what i can to make it kick ass and try to egt to a halfway point...maybe then go back in and add chapters. A title would be nice but it wont happen. I just wanted to tell all of you, my dear friends(the two who read this one of you ismy best friend in the enitre world...i just dont think you know thats what i consider you{hint hint your the person I apoligised to abut not telling you lol} and the other is of course you Liz)that I love you all. Im feeling very oddly sentimental and caring-ish and quite unlike myself. I havent felt this kind of numb-empty-cold-i dont fucking care feelings since senior year. NO make that junior year...cause thats when I worte the sotry that got me into concelling, and that also when I tried to kill myself...another story for another day. Also Ill add the damned sotry that got m in trouble...if i can find it. Interestinly enough its called "A Suicide Story"...as i said mroe on tat later...depending on several things. Laters all dont have the time nor the inclination to continue this. Goodbye from the bottom of my heart and I leave you with 2 quotes from some of of my fav bands...
"I dont fucking care, i dont fucking care, i dont fucking care anymoooooooooooooooooooore" reel big fish
"FUCK THE WORLD, FUCK EM ALL" ICP
"IM thinking of, thinking of fucked people, think all the shit I love, thinking of fucking it all away...." Korn
Later

Horror Book

Have comments but dont want them here? click here and go there. I feel a starnge kind of feeling i havent felt for at east 6 years...I cant remember if i mentioned this before so I ill again. Aslo I prmosed stoires of my reckless endangerment so more to com during my days off. Anyway this feeling...i guess the best word is indifference though it culd be that i havnt gotten more than 4 hours sleep in 2 weeks. Im seeing things an my brain is deifintly on auto pilot. Even as i type this, my hands work while the brain sleeps. But its all good Ill take like 20 pain killers when i egt home. ill sleep then for sure. maybe not 20...maybe 18. ill be bale ot hndle that many. Those of you interested in the sotry i put on here(bout the evil guy) let me know by emailing me...seansdementia@msn.com if you dont have it already, and be sure t tell me. thanks a trillion! laters y'all im gonna go do some work so i dont die or fall asleep. i guess i wont be wirting bout how i feel after all

Thursday, June 24, 2004

I feel the need to write...

And the great story isnt with me tonight so Im screwed. Ill just wirte what comes to mind, though I do have an idea...

As time has gone by,
the hole has been dug.
One by one they took a little dirt;
some taking more, and returning little,
some taking little and returning lots.
Yet no matter who or how much, the whole still grew.
Grew to a size that begand a small cave in.
The ground shook, dirt fell in and now the hole,
deep black and dirty, was wider and deeper still.
Trying to save what was there,
I became desperate.
GRabbing many at once to try to fill the void
the emptyness of that hole.
And instead of filling they took...took what wasnt thiers,
what I shuldnt have offered.
Finally one came,
one who gave and never asked for anything,
Save for a few shovel fulls of that precious dirt.
I gave and gave, and so did she,
and together we found eace and balance and happiness.
One day I ddint give any back...and she ran.
Now I am alone here,
and the hole grows steadily bigger...
and the darkness and dirt are surrounding me.
Soon ill be lsot in this forever...


Instead ill post something i worte a few years back that I just found...let me know what you think...(FYI this was back around jan 02 id say a bad time for me...)

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Things that must be said...(im tired and unable to think of a better tite...so sue me)

Frirst I misu make an apoligy. It seems that a few of you who read this found out I was engaged through here. Im sorry. I had alot of people to tell, and ddint want to tell myfamily..so in that process I forgot most of you. I am truly sorry. As for new things...bothing...the sotry has stopped for now, cause Im working and too tired to deal with it. More on firday as Im off again..till then wait is all I can say. Hope everyones well.*enagement is done so we dont need to worry bout that anymore*

Sunday, June 20, 2004

NEW STORY!!!

Granted it isnt completed, but Ill be posting bits and pieces here and there. So to see where it goes, check back often!!! Also no chapter headings or title yet... but for now 'ere it is...


"Patheitc", He said aloud, as he watched the villagers through the
telescope. "Ants they look like and ants they are compared to the likes of
me." Closing the telescope and thinking again of the villagers he laughed.
If only those people knew hhow he had gotten it! Alas most of thier midns
wouldnt even grasp it. Save for one.
He knew the legend well. After living almost 3 centuries, he had heard it
many times. Thinking aloud again he said to noone but his pet crow," Ive
even defeated many so called "Heros of Legend." This one is different
Zoltan. Ive been watching him. After all these years we may have finally
found the one."
Relaxing in a chair e aquired in China 700 years ago, Walter nodded off.
Dreaming of when he first came to this land. He wasnt Walter then...he had
to go by another name then. Randall I believe it was. I know not for sure,
for this "being" even surpasses your dear narrator.
Randall hummed as he walked up the path through the dense tees. Carrying
only a book, and a tiny knapsack, most woould have though him a simple bard
or learned man. He looked to be no mroe than 24 years old. his handsome
looks even added to this illusion. Curly Blonde hair, Deep icy blue eyes,
and perfectly pearly teeth. And a nice five foot eight.
As he came through the clearing he gasped. This would be perfect he said to
himself. The village was situated in a clearing of the forest, but was
completly surrounded by said forest. "Now if only I can find a...", he said
as he put his hand up t shade the sun, scanning the tops of the trees. By
the Gods this was his lucky day! There was a hilltop that would make the
perfect observatory. Now building it without the people noticing ws a
problem...
Another question plagued his mind. Was this the village? Could it be? He
had travlled far, and heard many a sotry along his path. Laughing he thought
back to the incident at the last village. The people had said it was their
village and their hero. Who wrong they were. Randall or was he called
something else at that time? I honestly dont knw reader. Randall torched the
whole place, killed every last person. And took pleasure in it. Even dined
in the hollowed out castle of the former king, resting his feet on the kings
torched remains.
Only time would tell, he tought as he entered the empty Inn. Walking up to
the bar, he set his belongings down on the floor, and turned to the barmaid
who ahd been studying him. "Ye have rooms available?"
Studying him some more, she replied coldly," Unless youve got money weve
nothing for you stranger."
Smiling that killer smile of his, he tossed his hair and reached down to
his belt, grabbing a small coin purse. He pulled 3 gold coins from it,
pushed them towards her, and said in a deeper, more sensual voice," These
are for you my dear. Now do you have rooms available?"
Smiling as she put the coins in her blouse, she giggled a flirtaous
gigleand said," Yes sir. For you, the best room. And only one silver piece a
night."
"Here," he said, tossing her 2 more gold pieces," one to pay for the room
for a few nights and one to answer a question or two."
Catching them she nodded and said," Yes sir, ill answer anything. Anything
i can that is."
"Who owns that hilltop over there? Anyone in this village?"
"Not...not that I know of sir, and Ive lived her my whole life, so I have."
"Fine fine... The other thing you can do for me is forget i was here. If
anyone asks who is in my room, you dont know. You ddint egt a good look. You
understand?"
"Yes yes sir. Are you running form someone?"
"My business is my bussiness!" he fumed."Im sorry. Forgive me. I ddint mean
to snap at you like that. Please just keep my whaereabouts as secret as you
can."
"i will sir. Is there anything else..". she smiled, and looked herself over,
then him over," that i can do for you? Anything at all?"
Smiling, knowing his looks had won over another one, he smiled anmd
replied," Not tonight miss...?"
"Theresea, but the folks call me Tess."
"Miss Tess, not tonight as I have business early but maybe another night if
it'll do ya."
"Aye thank ya sir."
He smiled, tiped his head, and headed up the stairs. "Before I go, id be
nice to know where my room is."
"Aye sorry sir, its the second floor to the left, last door on the left."
"Thanks Miss Tess."
"tess will ne fine..goodnight Mr..."
"Goodnight Tess, and itd be best if you didnt know my name." Smiling, he
made his way up to his room, plotting what to do next.

For being a the best room in the place, it was awful small, and had several cracks running up the walls. As he set his things down Randall heard a small shuffling noise behind the walls. Dismissing it as rats, he layed on the dingy bed, hands behind his head, eyes wide open.
The shuffling cam again, and his head snapped to one of the pictures hanging on the wall. Smiling in the thin light, he knew exactly what it was. He rolled to face away from the picture and closed his eyes. Waiting...
Sure enough not five minutes later, his door opened, and a stealthy shadow made its way over to his belongings.
Tess Dug quickly through his pile of items looking for the bag of gold. "With this money," she thought, "I could finally fix this place up and run it full time instead of being a petty thief." Her smile as she found the bag faded when she glance over to the bed and saw it was empty. Not thinking she whispered quite loudly, "Where did he..."
At that moment a hand shot of from the shadows, and Randall's glaring smile followed it. Randall watched as she made eye contact with him, and sheer horror spread acorss her face. The look in his eyes dear reader, was one that would cause any fo you to scream and turn white.

.Back to This Familair Old Place...

So Im feeling...not so depressed...but an odd combination of sadness, depression, indifference, and joy. Needess to say Ive felt this before, and it isnt good news. I think its my minds way of preparing me for something bad. Ive mentioned before I have a small 6th sense. I can sense things, and Im very very good at reading people. Usually my first inpression is always right, and when I think/suspect/have an idea avout something its almost always right. Granted there have been times where my brain got talking with my paranoia and they concoted some stupid shit that I believed...but Id say im 8/10..or so. more like 75/100. To the point...I have this odd feeling..its been comming and going. I do believe I mentioned it before. A sense of impending doom. God I hate to sound so dramatical...It cant be anything too horrible. Maybe Ill egt sent to jersey during august when i want o be in maryland for this horror convention. Maybe Ill lose my orders to California..or God help me..maybe something will happen to me or someone will die. Who knows..its never been anything huge, but then again last time I felt this...well lets skip that time and go to the one before. Time before last was in HS. Last time is still a bad subject and I dont dare speak of it. Its like speaking the name of some awful evil presecne. You just dont do it. Ok all for now. Stuff t do and whatnot. Later *figured out what bad thing was gonna happen and it was what i always thought it was*

More Shite...

This one is interesting...thats all Ill say...

What Donnie Darko Character Are YOU?
by Kysys7
Username?
First REAL Name?
Burn it to the ground...Frank
Your World Will End:May 21, 2006
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